unearthed.

posted : Tuesday, December 4, 2007

title : grrs.

i feel super not at ease. i feel super tk tenteram. i feel like im carrying a burden in my heart which weighs 100 tonnes. worst still, i hav no freaking idea why.

i need to talk to someone. i need to let it out. but i dont noe to who. i dont want to. bcos i noe i wun even noe wad to sae in d fers place. n im so nt going to ask daun agn. i need to cry. but i cant evn cry. so many tings against my wishes nw. against wad i had in mind. plus oder stuff which i dun even noe why. i noe im talking in riddles. n i dun evn care. at least i get a bit off my chest. i need to cry to HIM. n i dun evn care if im not in d appropriate way to do it. i jus need his help. to make tings btr fr me. to make evriting so much easier. to help me out here. to make me feel lyke im still loved...

im in such turmoil. n i dun noe why. wad a joke.

i need to cry. but d tears. dey jus wun flow. hw i wished school didn't end. hw i wished papa would still talk to me. hw i wished i'll stop being so stubborn n wanting to do what i want. hw i wished i'll be a gd n filial daughter dis tyme n listen. hw i wished i was rotting at hm instead. hw i wished dian's here. i miss her lahh seyy. hw i wished i hav sumone like her ryte now. sumone i cn jus kol in the wee hours of d morning n confide in. hw i wished tings were so much easier. hw i wished my heart was so much lighter....

hw i reli wished i din hav to only wish for all these...

Allah, help me make them come true please?

what desperation i'm letting everyone see in me. whatever. im too tired to care about ego and pride right now. im too much in a state of a mess to worry bout what people think of me. im d one suffering after all.

oh bleghs. this has got to be one of the worst periods in my life.

1:17 AM