I've found a reason to continue with JC.
To not give up halfway.
To give my all and do my extreme best.

And the reason is: Papa.

Today was a wake-up call. An alarm which awakened my innermost spots in my heart.
There's no way I can ever put Papa through another major disappoinment. I've disappointed him shamelessly the last three major exams. This is my last chance. To prove to him. To everyone. And most importantly, to myself.

I hate all those people.
They who hurt my Papa.
Yet I know there's nothing I can do.
I can't possibly reprimand them, chide them for their undubiously IMMATURED, selfish and inconsiderate behaviours.
But there's one thing I can do.
To make Papa the proudest Dad in the whole wide world.
To show them we can do without them.
I want to prove them wrong.
This feeling is so raw, I feel like I'm bleeding from too much pain.

But I'm going to do it.
If any any point of time, you see me forgetting.
You see me not working.
Please, wake me up.
remind me of my Papa.
Of those cruel people who hurt me indirectly.

I love you Papa.
And I'm going to prove it.
Insya-Allah.

Oh Allah, bantulah athin.
Kabulkan kesemua doaku.
Jangan sesekali biarkan Athin lalai.
Dan janganlah dendam ini berpanjangan.
Amin.