"Let the memories fade.
Let time wash over the memories."

Is that why I'm hurting again now? Is that why I'm feeling pain again now? That I have to give up and forget some of the best, happiest moments I had? That it has to come to a point where we eventually forget like they ever happened?

I'm not as idealistic as you are.
Or maybe I'm just sunk in way too deep than you are.
Is it possible for the memories to fade when a piece of my heart and self is still with you and will always be with you?
Even if you were only referring to the intimate memories, must the memories fade when they're something I really cherish and wish to keep them beautiful and as vivid as I remember them to be?

I really don't like knowing that one day you'll forget all these. That you want me to forget them too.
Maybe I'm really the idealistic one.
Maybe I'm hoping for us to retain memories of what we had even as we work towards reverting our feelings back to that of friends.
Isn't that why we're both fighting to keep this friendship together?
Because those memories are precious to us?

It's not the memories making it painful for me anyways, it's having to force my heart to be freed from you, and knowing that one day you'll have your heart completely back.
That I won't get to keep a piece of it anymore because I don't have any right to.
That I can no longer let you know every time I'm missing you.
That I can no longer expect to spend time with you; that you won't be able to hang out as much and as long as we used to because you now have someone waiting for you at home.
That I now am afraid to ever ask you out anymore because one day the rejection will come, and not because you have other priorities but that one day you'll find that there's no reason to meet or that we should not meet.
That I never got the chance to and can never travel to places with you alone because of your status now.
That when we're together I can no longer reach out to you and be in your arms,
That I can no longer enjoy your scent and be your koala-dog.
That I'll crave for your touch and you but I'm not supposed to even think or imagine about it because it's now wrong.
But what really hurts me is that I don't get to love you as much as my heart allows it, and that I can no longer tell you just how much I love you, even when you're right next to me.

So wouldn't it hurt less if I just stay away?