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Because I'm Fathin Hanani. =)
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posted : Monday, July 8, 2019
title :
Today I woke up and again the first thought that hit me was "He's married". 
It feels like waking up to a nightmare everyday and I can't wait for night time to come for the few hours that I can stop thinking about you, at least consciously.
I couldn't stop crying to sleep last night, Huda kept asking me why I was crying; and again why was I still crying. 
How do I tell you babygirl?
That I brought myself into this mess and now I have to handle it alone but it's too damn difficult for my heart to cope with.
That I've asked myself countless times if I still do not regret anything with him now that I know how painful it can be.
Would I have stopped myself back then for that few months of fleeting happiness for this seemingly endless, agonizing pain?
I miss him.
I miss him as a friend too.
But my heart has to stop hurting so much before I can talk to him as a friend right?
And it will stop hurting right?
11:11 AM