I say things like "Maybe we won't be friends by then..." in anticipation of a heartbreak that feels like it's pending forever.

I'm so afraid to lose you, yet I get upset over the littlest things, knowing it will just make us quarrel, knowing it will just tire us out.

But yet I can't help it, thinking if I'm going to lose you anyways, is it better to make you tired sooner? To make you give up and walk away and be the one to throw us away instead?

Or would it be better for me to make the best of my time with you, and try leaving you with only good memories of us?

Either way, from the beginning it has always felt like borrowed time for me. You have always perceived differently, thinking we have infinite time. And that's what makes us so different.

But maybe that difference is good, although that doesn't always show. Because just like I hope you don't take me for granted, I hope I'll stop taking you for granted too. I hope I'll only treat you the best - as much as my heart is filled with you, as much as I always say that I love you.

And I do.
And today I tell myself again with renewed determination - to treat you better, to treat us better. All the more if we are on borrowed time, to not waste that preciousness.
As proof to how precious you are to me.

Ily.
And I hope we'll always stay precious to each other.
Even if one day, we don't look at each other the same way any longer.