Japan.

You've probably forgotten our talks about it.
The possibility of a trip there.
Back then, I was thankful.
Really thankful that you didn't dismiss the idea right away. That you thought it was possible.
But maybe you should have outrightly killed any possible expectations back then and flatly told me there was no way that could happen.
Maybe that would have been easier on me.
Instead of having my heart light up and deflate simultaneously every single time I hear that word.
Of wondering if you still think that's a possibility or if you've far long discarded that idea totally.
But I can't tell you all these.
Even as it kills me, I'm still ultimately thankful.
That you never said no.